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It has come to my attention that my post, “Zen and the Art of Auditions,” did not sit well with a few of you. Specifically, at least a few of my colleagues in Montreal. I’m feeling conflicted about this, because on one hand, I don’t love the feeling that I’ve pissed people off. I always try my absolute best to write with honesty, integrity, compassion, … Continue reading The Solution (to the Problem with Auditions)
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Dear friends, I am writing to you from the other side. I have climbed up the giant A, admired the view from the top, and am now on the blissful descent back into freedom. Yesterday, I took my 10th, and dare I say, final, audition for the Montreal Symphony. I went into it with one simple, albeit radical goal, when you consider the messaging that … Continue reading Zen and the Art of Auditions
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Ever since I decided to take the audition, I’ve been having recurring nightmares. Can’t find my violin 2 minutes before a concert where I’ve been hired to play 1st and 2nd violin simultaneously; showing up to the audition and realizing I’ve forgotten to actually practice for it; and just a general sense of being places I don’t really wanna be, around people (or in one … Continue reading Ice, Grief, and a Crippling Fear of Financial Insecurity
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Last week, I was in the middle of a warm, luxurious writing session at my boyfriend’s place in the Vermont countryside, when I got a call from my mom. “Are you going to take the audition?” Her question crept into my neck and shoulders like the first winter freeze, tightening everything that was soft just a moment ago. Are!You!Going!To!Take!The!AUDITION????? Every word an air-borne brick, assaulting … Continue reading The Trouble With Auditions, part 2
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I am at that point in my audition prep where I’m in a terrifying race against my body—trying to squeeze in enough osteo and massage therapy and physio appointments; and ingesting enough teas and…calming medicinal substances…to off-set the hours of practice that are making my left-shoulder hang stubbornly 5 inches lower than my right; my ring and pinkie fingers on both hands go completely numb, … Continue reading The Final Stretch
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For decades, we have been telling ourselves that we need to be perfect if we want to satisfy our audiences. But AUDIENCES DON’T WANT PERFECTION. They want to see themselves reflected on stage. They want humanity. Continue reading How to Fill Up your Concert Halls
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I have wanted to play in a professional orchestra ever since I was 16 years old, when I played Don Juan in the first full-orchestra rehearsal of the 2002 National Youth Orchestra of Canada. I had watched my mom play viola in Symphony Nova Scotia since I was a baby, because she raised me by herself and often brought me to rehearsals, plunking me down … Continue reading The Trouble with Auditions
DeRollerCoaster 