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Twinkly-Eyed Mischief

I’ve been experiencing a bit of a mind-fuck with social media and blog posts of late, where I enjoy the process of writing IMMENSELY, not knowing where I’ll end up when I start; but often unconsciously creating an arc—because the act of writing changes me. I am different when I finish than when I started. And then, I am so EXCITED to share what I’ve … Continue reading Twinkly-Eyed Mischief

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The Solution (to the Problem with Auditions)

It has come to my attention that my post, “Zen and the Art of Auditions,” did not sit well with a few of you. Specifically, at least a few of my colleagues in Montreal. I’m feeling conflicted about this, because on one hand, I don’t love the feeling that I’ve pissed people off. I always try my absolute best to write with honesty, integrity, compassion, … Continue reading The Solution (to the Problem with Auditions)

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When the Kid inside of you Takes Over

I know I talk a big talk of having things generally figured out, of preaching from a soap box about how wonderful life is when you learn to love yourself… but I’m a cranky piece of shit this morning. And this does happen often, I just don’t tend to think to write about it. I am crouched over my laptop in the spare bedroom (Ben’s … Continue reading When the Kid inside of you Takes Over

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Zen and the Art of Auditions

Dear friends, I am writing to you from the other side. I have climbed up the giant A, admired the view from the top, and am now on the blissful descent back into freedom. Yesterday, I took my 10th, and dare I say, final, audition for the Montreal Symphony. I went into it with one simple, albeit radical goal, when you consider the messaging that … Continue reading Zen and the Art of Auditions

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The Trouble With Auditions, part 2

Last week, I was in the middle of a warm, luxurious writing session at my boyfriend’s place in the Vermont countryside, when I got a call from my mom. “Are you going to take the audition?” Her question crept into my neck and shoulders like the first winter freeze, tightening everything that was soft just a moment ago. Are!You!Going!To!Take!The!AUDITION????? Every word an air-borne brick, assaulting … Continue reading The Trouble With Auditions, part 2

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An Extremely Low Tolerance for Bullshit

I’m not depressed. I don’t have PMDD. I don’t have hypo-thyroidism. HypER-thyroidism?!! Google the symptoms. Do YOU have hypo-thyroidism?? Are you feeling tired, depressed, sensitive to cold, ConSTiPATED?!?!?!? *waits as you squeeze out a turd so tiny it doesn’t disrupt the toilet water* Ah, you probably don’t have it. Apparently 75% of the people going into my doctor with the above symptoms in the last … Continue reading An Extremely Low Tolerance for Bullshit

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The Terrifying Joy of Saying NO to Money

It’s June 24, a holiday in Quebec, and the weather is perfect. The sun is out, shining obnoxiously, as a light breeze blows all the white fuzzies from some dumb giant tree in my backyard straight into my naked eyeballs. At least, that’s what it would be doing if I felt like leaving my house. To be fair, I’m recovering from a cold, and all … Continue reading The Terrifying Joy of Saying NO to Money

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The Never Ending Solo Show

I fell off my creative horse about 6 weeks ago, oh, around the time I started writing a grant for the next stage of my solo show, “You’re Not Alone.” I wonder what my horse’s name is. Sandy?! Anyway, what is it about grant writing that just completely CRUSHES creativity?! I think something goes on where if you talk and talk and talk about something … Continue reading The Never Ending Solo Show

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To Pill, or Not to Pill

“How do you know when it’s time to go on antidepressants?” I found myself typing into google the other day. I’ve been hearing about people going on them more and more—dear friends, partners of friends, “half my mom’s orchestra,” and pretty much every one of my pandemic podcast mentors: Sarah Silverman, Glennon Doyle; Martha Beck and her Partner Rowan Mangan in their AMAZING podcast “Bewildered.” … Continue reading To Pill, or Not to Pill

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The Real Reason We Are All Exhausted

The last few weeks, I have been locked away in my freezing cold apartment, “working on my creative projects.” Aka, feeling significantly depressed and doing anything and everything I could, to AVOID said project. I was supposed to be doing a creative residency at the Banff Centre for the Arts this month, to write the music for my first solo show: “You’re Not Alone: Music … Continue reading The Real Reason We Are All Exhausted