“How do you know when it’s time to go on antidepressants?” I found myself typing into google the other day. I’ve been hearing about people going on them more and more—dear friends, partners of friends, “half my mom’s orchestra,” and pretty much every one of my pandemic podcast mentors: Sarah Silverman, Glennon Doyle; Martha Beck and her Partner Rowan Mangan in their AMAZING podcast “Bewildered.” … Continue reading To Pill, or Not to Pill
The last few weeks, I have been locked away in my freezing cold apartment, “working on my creative projects.” Aka, feeling significantly depressed and doing anything and everything I could, to AVOID said project. I was supposed to be doing a creative residency at the Banff Centre for the Arts this month, to write the music for my first solo show: “You’re Not Alone: Music … Continue reading The Real Reason We Are All Exhausted
The other day, I paid an extra $49 to have this mammoth sit/stand desk delivered from IKEA to my door-step, and I spent all evening putting it together. Until… I got to the point where the hieroglyphic instructions show TWO PEOPLE smiling as they breezily lift the desk up from opposite ends and flip it over. I bet they put this stupid desk together in … Continue reading On Being Selfish
I am at that point in my audition prep where I’m in a terrifying race against my body—trying to squeeze in enough osteo and massage therapy and physio appointments; and ingesting enough teas and…calming medicinal substances…to off-set the hours of practice that are making my left-shoulder hang stubbornly 5 inches lower than my right; my ring and pinkie fingers on both hands go completely numb, … Continue reading The Final Stretch
As it turns out, writing a blog post every single day is definitely not sustainable—not in my world, not right now as I’m trying to work up my millionth violin audition for the Montreal Symphony—even if I tell myself each post can just be whatever I barf out in 30 minutes. Because what actually happens, is that by the time I start writing, I enjoy … Continue reading Hey. I Love You.
I know it’s the week before my period when my favourite thing on earth—my beloved over-sized 3-year old kitten, George Michael, annoys the ABSOLUTE CRAP out of me. Unfortunately for him, the sound the creaky floorboards make in my new-old house as he innocently walks on them sounds just like the sound my couch makes when he is very deliberately destroying it. “STOP IT, GEORGE! … Continue reading I Hate Everything (one week a month)
***TRIGGER WARNING: Content about depression and suicidal thoughts, treated with humor and love*** Last week, as I was walking down St. Laurent in a “What even is Life” pandemic haze, it happened. I thought to myself, “Wouldn’t it be nice to just like, end my life and get away from all this misery?!” I know, alarm bells are going off for some of you, but … Continue reading A Period of Dark Thoughts
Yesterday I went to my nearest Montreal subway station, paid $3.00, then just sat on the platform screaming at trains. I’m one of THOSE people now. Continue reading How to Yell in Public
Sooo… it’s been a weee little while *cough* 4 months…since I’ve posted here- in this magical place I created in February 2019 where I can express anything and everything. Read: rants about horrible ex-boyfriends, and all my annoyingly preachy “advice” on how to live your best life- which I generally break within the week, because I’m HUMAN. I started off strong, posting two epic over-shares … Continue reading Does an Artist have to Art?
It’s March 15, 2020 and the world is in lock down. A few days ago, when EVERYTHING was cancelled for the foreseeable future, my first reaction was Cool! A chance to slow down, get creative, connect with those around me on a deep level and start thinking about how to grow as a society. Well, after a minor panic at losing all my income as … Continue reading Death to the Internet